Today, I sit here with somewhat mixed feelings. I'm trying to actually figure out what I'm feeling. I'm looking for a metaphor to describe this last week or so and I can't really find one.

I've had a situation where I really needed to pay attention to my professional and personal boundaries. It becomes a balancing act when a friend becomes a potential client, and how to navigate the system to ensure the friend gets the help required and ensuring I don't cross any boundaries - in avoiding moving from friend to professional. I think I was able to keep this boundary. It's different being on the other side. I got frustrated with the system. Got frustrated with some of the professionals. I even snapped at a nurse as a frustrated friend advocating for my friend. (The nurse, by the way, winked at me when he saw me in the hall today. So weird! And I still stand by what I said). And I needed to make sure I didn't deliver professional advice beyond being that friend who does know the system to some degree to help my friend navigate the system - giving information that is available to the public. It's hard as a friend to see someone going through stuff I know full well is painful, at times humbling, and difficult. It's also hard having my professional background that gives me a different insight into the situation - and having to sit back and not do or say anything. What could I do as a friend? Listen. Sit with my friend. Hug. Things friends do. I wouldn't regret this experience, though. It was good for me to be in this situation. And I think my friend got some help.

Also, I applied for a position recently where I felt I had a really good chance. I learned today I would not be interviewed. Part of me is sad. I was beginning to look forward to some of the opportunities that would come with this position. Part of me is ok with this decision. The job wasn't my 'ideal' job. So, maybe it's best I stay where I'm at until that 'just right' position comes along when I'm ready for it. Not that I'm looking for something else actively. I'm only at a place where I look at opportunities that sound interesting.

I learned that the Samba group I'm part of is dissolving. The Samba group is one of the things I was counting as a reason to stay in Calgary - something going for me here in Calgary that is not found in other Canadian cities I know of. So, this bit of news feels like one more thing in a process of letting go. Not that I'm letting go for a particular destination or position or anything.

So, how am I feeling? Meh. That pretty much sums it up. It's sad to hear the Samba group is dissolving. I was disappointed I didn't get an interview. There's not a lot I can do about either. It's true - I'm feeling 'Meh', which seems so weird considering the somewhat stressful week and the disappointing news. Maybe it's more a sense that life goes on. These are just points along the way in life.