Acceptance and Grace

Acceptance and grace ... 2 words I feel God has placed on my heart as a theme for the 2014 year. At first I thought it odd. Then I realized how closely connected these 2 words are. I desire to be a woman of grace. To be a woman of grace, I need to be at peace - with myself and others. I need to accept what I cannot change and have wisdom to make the changes I can and need to. There is so much more to the concept of grace and I'm still learning!

I see that

when I can fully accept myself - my situation, my limitations, my strengths, my desires, my interests, my passions, all of me ... and when I can be gracious with myself ...

And

when I can fully accept others in my life - those who to me feel very judgmental (that is something that really irks me), or those who have hurt me or used me in one way or another, or those who will enter my life or are new to my life - and show grace to them  ...

Then I can truly live at peace.

And I can only get to this point by the grace of God.

I don't see accepting and being full of grace towards others as being as hard as it is to accept me fully - for who I am and all that I am - and being gracious with myself. Then again, in many ways, I hope I don't have to learn this the hard way! For others, I usually forgive quickly. As I am relationally focused, I want to make things right between me and other people so those kinds of things don't usually hang around long. My current struggles are mostly around acknowledging that I have physical limitations that are more so than in the past. I can't go as full-on as I've gone in the past. And believe me, I've been known to be very busy doing all sorts of things. I don't know why now is the time when I am noticing I need to slow down. It is frustrating. I'm mostly ok with my situation. But there are days when I really struggle. I want to do so much more than my body seems to allow me to before it konks out. I'm finding I need to rely on others more than ever. And I most definitely do not want others to see me as 'needy' or 'using' them when I do have needs - whether that is companionship, physical help, or other needs and desires. Sure, I struggle at times with my appearance, but somehow, overall, I'm ok with it. I do what I can to be healthy and to look my best, and I know that others can accept that or not and it's their choice. I've been told I'm Ugly. Fat. Crippled. Look funny. And many ugly words. I have to remember they're just words and the people saying these things are going through their own issues. If they don't accept my appearance or if they discriminate based on my appearance, that's on them. All I can do is accept me for who I am. All of me. And that will still require me to lean on God and allow his grace to wash over me.

That grace, I've noticed, comes in many forms. People in my life. Little things that make me smile. Nature's beauty as a wonderful balm. Conversations I have where I see that God is using me in others' lives - because I am who I am - in my full glory. :) [said with some jest, but also in sincerity as I do believe that as a Christian, I reflect God's glory]. I am continually surprised and feel blessed when others come to talk to me because they see me as someone who listens. Who has good advice when needed, or is just willing to listen or, if they'd like, to pray with them. I see so many wonderful opportunities to connect with others - and sometimes I think these opportunities come BECAUSE I need some help and someone has stepped up. We end up having such wonderful conversations.

So, in my year of exploring what it means to fully accept myself and be gracious to myself and in my exploration of what it means to fully accept, love, and be gracious to others, I am filled with excitement. I think this year will hold many wonderful - and probably some not-so-wonderful experiences. I look forward to studying God's word, reading books that teach me about these topics (and as a side note - so often I end up picking up a book that brings out the themes that I am experiencing without even realizing it), and learning about grace and acceptance in my relationships. I think I will come out on the other end more at peace. And maybe, I will even exude some of what the lyrics in the U2 song 'Grace' talk about (see below).

The only verse I'm not so sure about is the first one (I'm not sure what that verse means and from how I'm reading it, I'm not sure it's a healthy way of looking at things). Unless 'Grace' is viewed as God and the sacrifice of Jesus. Then it makes sense to me. The video link is below as well.

Grace (by U2)

Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that
Changed the world

And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything

Grace
She's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk

She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside
Of karma

When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything

Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips
She carries a pearl
In perfect condition

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings

Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace finds beauty
In everything

Grace finds goodness
In everything