In but not In

Work was good today. But there's this fear in the back of my mind ... what if I don't get the position I'm covering for with casual hours. Today, I was offered an interview for the job. I was pretty certain I'd get an interview. I also heard my boss telling her boss there will be 3 interviews. The job is not a guarantee. What does that mean if I don't get it? I've started to like the idea I will have steady income. If I don't get it, maybe I'll get one day a week of casual hours. Maybe a couple. Or maybe I'll only get work when others are sick or away. I know I need to trust God. It feels so ... oh, I don't even know how to word it ... uncomfortable maybe ... when I hear the staff talking about 'when the full time person is hired'. They all know I've applied. It's just awkward for me. Probably not for them. They maybe only think of me as casual. And, yes, I did at first, too. But being there as many days a week as the others (who are also working 4 days/week) makes it feel more like I'm there as a regular employee. So I get assigned all these caseloads (of 4 different doctors), I have regular groups I'm running, and I feel like I'm part of the team. Yet, every once in a while, it is clear I'm not ... yet. My interview is Friday. I guess I'll find out next week what will happen. I just have to believe that whatever happens is what is meant to be. I am enjoying my job. I hope that, if it really is the case that I am not offered the position, it won't get all awkward for the remainder of the month until that person starts. Originally, I wanted 3, maybe 4 days a week. But, I'm really wanting this position and it's 5 days a week. So be it. I will work 5 days a week until the end of that term, then go from there. Maybe I will want 5 days a week then. Although, this position is a mat leave and who knows what will be available at that time.