Moving symbolic of a shift in life

I'm sitting here, not sure what to write, but feeling like I should write something. I could write an update on how things are going here at the new place, but there's not a lot to say. I'm in. It was a rough move, but I think it will be good in the long run. I could write about what I've been thinking about recently. However, it feels like that's still percolating. I'm not quite sure how to put it into words yet. Or if I ever want to. It's been more reflection - nothing good or bad, just reflection. And trying to sit with whatever feeling I'm having. Observing it. At times, praying about what I'm feeling, especially when I'm trying to figure out what it's about. And trying to find direction.

I withdrew from Dragonfly. That was a result of reflecting. It just didn't seem like it was an option that would work out. Now that I've moved to this place, the idea seemed even more 'far removed'. Financially, it didn't seem like an option. I just don't have 30,000 sitting around for a down payment. That's what is required at this stage, even though I may well qualify for a 5% down in purchasing. And, when I sit at my computer and look out my window, there is something peaceful and calming about not being in the heart of the city. Being able to look out and see grass and trees. At night, it even looks like the city is in the distance. Yet, I'm a 10 minute drive from downtown. I suppose it reinforces the idea that I'm really not a big city girl. The Dragonfly project is located just south of downtown. There are buildings all around and very little, if any, green space anywhere nearby the site. Nearby to me means within site of the building. This place feels more like home than any of the other places I've lived in. Maybe it's because it reminds me a little of the place I spent most of my first 10 years of life. I like that I don't have to drive far to get to important amenities and I do like that I'm not in the middle of a concrete jungle. I also like that I'm closer to the mountains and the back country.

So, back to the Dragonfly... yes, it feels like a loss. I was beginning to connect with some people there. As my social circle seems to be changing a lot lately with me spending more time with certain friends and very little time with friends I used to spend a lot of time with and also getting to know new people, it stings a little to have started getting to know some people to only have to say good-bye to them. I know deep down most won't bother to stay in touch. So, I suppose that was a short season of my life. There's also the sense of loss around that possibility of having a real community around and living in a place that works for me accessibility wise. Mind you, the accessibility didn't seem to be working out in the end anyway. That's just not where most of the community was at anymore - it was more about saving money. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about having affordable housing. However, big picture wise, if aging in place is the goal, cutting out many of the accessibility features for the name of saving money is not going to save money in the long term.

Yet, there is a glimmer of excitement about what is to come. To me, making the switch from one side of the city to the other feels a little symbolic to me. I'm in a new place that looks professional. I'm out of the 'hood'. This place seems to be a nice, relaxing atmosphere, with what seems to be a less likelihood of observing hold-ups and other crimes (although I know crime happens everywhere). I really did witness a hold-up near my previous place, by the way. I actually feel motivated to work from home when I'm here, as opposed to the previous place. I also have started to connect a little more with other professionals. I feel like this might even translate into spending time with them socially to at least some degree. The thought of getting to know a new neighbourhood also excites me a little. I am curious to find some new, cozy coffee shop, or some interesting store or a park that draws me.