Orchestrating the Composition of Life

Something I've realized, or that's been emphasized over an over recently - a key theme in my life is that God Orchestrates my life! It's been encouraging to look back and see how God has orchestrated in my life. Sometimes those apparently not-so-good things actually lead to a pretty beautiful outcome! Speaking in music terms, when things don't seem to be going well, maybe those are the times when the chords in life are minor, or diminished, or sustained. Those chords eventually resolve into a major chord. These chords add to the composition of life, making it beautiful and interesting. I do believe that 2010 was more of the unresolved piece of the composition and that 2011 could be the more peaceful or the more jubilant sections of the composition.

2010 was a long, difficult year and I can only hope for a better year in 2011. As one of my friends wished me, "May 2011 be the year of connection and contentment for you". I have felt quite disconnected, lonely, frustrated and discouraged this year and have had a sense of lack of direction. Like nothing is moving anywhere fast.

At the same time, many people have encouraged me and been there for me. I've seen my church take care of me when I needed it most. I've also been connected with some pretty amazing people who have provided support and helped me process through stuff to help me get my business going. It's been a year of trusting and scraping the barrel ... but in every situation, God provided! Most often, at the last minute. Which is where trusting and believing comes in, a clear theme for the year 2010.  This is also part of how my life is being orchestrated. Timing is everything! And knowing that, believing that, has allowed me to relax even when things were tight.

Music has become a big part of my life this year and I really hope it continues. It's been good getting more involved with music, including the start of "Lazarus", getting involved in Samba, and playing / performing with one of my friends both in a small church and in open jams. I've gotten to know more people through this too, which has been really good.

This year, I've had some spiritual revelations as well. God is Creator - he's creative! And we're made in his image. We all need to exercise creativity and appreciate His creativity! I'm all about that! :D God also desires to fulfill our desires. Yes, in fact, it's good to dream. He has given us many of the desires we have. I do need to remember to be content in whatever situation I'm in, though - whether that is being single, living in Calgary or elsewhere, being unemployed (but still trying to do something about that), or whatever the situation might be.

I do look forward to what God has in store for me. I feel like I have a lot going on so I hope I find a way to have good balance and prioritize well. I continue to desire to feel connected and have deep personal relationships. I also look forward, with a little bit of fear (due to uncertainty), to where my career will go. I've started a business but it takes a long time to build up. I started a job but it is also casual at this point and I don't know if I will have steady income beyond this month. I can see how it fits well with long term dreams and passions. I'm thankful, though, for what I have. I realize I have a deep passion to work with people who are marginalized or who have mental health issues (or both) and I have a passion to teach.

A thought I have focused on lately is the importance of encouraging and building people up. Too often, it is easy to cut others down or criticize them. I want to make a real effort to stop myself from criticizing and make a habit of building others up instead.

So, for 2011, I look forward to the musical composition of my life unfolding. I'm sure there will some interesting notes and chords that, upon first hearing them, won't sound good. Some dissonance that doesn't seem to fit, but when mixed in with the rest of the song, will sound beautiful. I expect there will be jubilant and vibrant parts and maybe some peaceful parts. I'm hoping for a least some steady rhythms for a while. Maybe a few skipped beats of joy. :)